whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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