I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
