Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
