remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
