Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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