honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
