Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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