I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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