he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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