we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
