and you said cock pushups were impossible
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
two words...techno handjob
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
