If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
