oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im holly from the hills drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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