remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
