I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
