Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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