yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
