come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
