I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
