these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Let's get the cat blown out
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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