The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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