You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize