she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
ttyl tear gas
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
