if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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