Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
