I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
