HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
