she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
