I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
