batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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