Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
