Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
