we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
