yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
