I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
