I am puke
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
