whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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