We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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