I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
