I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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