If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Four minutes until I can fart!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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