so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
