So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he thought i was a dude.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
