Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
