i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
