your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Please don't give away my fajitas
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize