Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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