I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
