Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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