dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
