So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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