Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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