there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
