Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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