By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
wow bdsm is so cute
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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