She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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