i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
