i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
