But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
