He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My life is pants optional.
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