Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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