Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
