For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
