So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
