SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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