JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
