you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I made him laugh his dick is mine
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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