:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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