White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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