Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
